Getting better

Wow, it’s been a while since my last post. A lot has been going on, and I’m basically absorbed by school. But here I am at 1 a.m. in the morning, awake because my evening nap affected my sleep cycle. The last time I wanted to post I just left it as a draft, so I hope this is a good time.

It’s been almost two months with medication for anxiety and it has made a huge difference in me. I’m finally beginning to feel like myself again, enjoying the things I like, like listening to music, playing videogames, taking photos, having sex, eating, and basically everything. I began to experience happiness again, and I’m so glad and thankful for this change.

My life although fast-paced is not too bad; I love learning and being in school. I’ve been more talkative too, not so much withdrawn, and it feels good to talk whenever I want without fear of being dumb or judged, or having an accent, or mispronouncing words. It feels good to be imperfect, I am liking myself again. I am feeling good in my body, with my appearance, with my clothes, with no makeup on. I guess this is having a self-esteem.

After a long time, it feels good to experience positive feelings and positive thoughts. I know it’s not that easy but I am also working on myself, on managing my emotions. I also try to keep in mind how lucky I am for having people who love and support me, and although me and my boyfriend struggle financially, we have food and a roof over our heads, health, safety, and we have each other, and that’s more than enough.

Right now I’m tired, I’ve been studying so hard. But my week is finally over and I can enjoy my day off tomorrow. Oh, and the weather has been phenomenal, I love autumn.

I hope you can find positive things to feel grateful for.

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