Capitalism, Racism, Mysogyny. Those 3 topics are the current source of my anxiety. They are complex social problems and I feel dragged by them, I am a victim of their terrible acts. I have always said I am not interested in politics because I don't believe in democracy, I think that everything is just an … Continue reading Scrambled thoughts part 2
I have been feeling weird lately. I am afraid of women's stares. I feel like when they look at my eyes they are trying to decipher something. They are trying to find out if I am queer. I am not, but I feel uncomfortable with that situation. I have been avoiding men's staring at me … Continue reading What is going on?
What do you do when you have a lot of things going on in your head? I feel like I've been like this before, before going to therapy. Now I solved those past problems I had but now I have new ones and they are clogged in my brain. I don't know where to start … Continue reading Scrambled thoughts
Have you ever wondered if there is an afterlife? Do you have any assumptions about it? How is it for you? What does it mean for you? Personally, I believe in it. I once had a dream where I was someone else and I had another name. When I woke up, that name was stuck … Continue reading The Afterlife
It's funny because my boyfriend knows that I have a blog and that I like writing but he never takes the time to go and read me. He spends most of the time by himself, playing in the computer. I have learned to live alone, to find what I like to do by myself, and … Continue reading You don’t need to read this
It has been a while since my last post. I am having a good time with my family in Mexico, it feels good to be home, to be back. But, it kind of breaks my heart when my mom asks me to stay, I love her and I would love to see her often, but … Continue reading January at home
Hello everyone, it's been a while since my last post. But anxiety has brought me again. I need to let everything out. I've been worrying again, too much, I have muscle tension, headaches, trouble concentrating. But we are close, we almost get a vaccine, we almost survive. But I'm still afraid. I don't want to … Continue reading Midnight thoughts
Today I want to talk about the good things. I am proud of myself. I am a badass. I am a warrior that doesn't give up. I am happy of all my accomplishments; not all people are brave. However, I have proof myself that I am. I have been managing my adaptability. One year I … Continue reading Magic words
It's been months since the last time I had anxiety, until today. I know my trigger is feeling unhealthy. Today I have what I think is a muscular pain and I also had a few irregular heartbeats. I remember the first time I felt that I was around 12 years maybe. I was scared and … Continue reading A night with anxiety
Today I close a cycle. After 8 years getting to know people during my studies, after all those parties and hungovers, the time for a real relationship just began and I began discovering their true selves. Little by little it was revealing, I didn't agree with their values, with their point of view. And it … Continue reading Goodbye fake friends
Is it too much to ask for? Sometimes I feel I can do anything, I'm capable of anything, I have no fear. Other times I feel I'm not good enough, I need to be more, I need to be extraordinary, excellent and I am just not perfect. I entered the website to look at their … Continue reading I want to go to Standford
Yesterday something important happened to me. I got my first haircut in the US. You could say, why is that important? That's not a big deal, you're so dramatic. Well, since I came to the US I've lived some experiences that have led me to lose a little of my self confidence. I see people … Continue reading First time experience.