I don’t know if you have read my previous posts, but I’ve been describing how depressed I feel. I tried really hard for about a year to overcome the loophole of negative that drowns me. I tried therapy for a while and it helped but then it didn’t, podcast, meditation, exercise, writing… And although it helped, the relief was brief, and I found myself constantly struggling to stay afloat. But about a month ago I decided to make an appointment with my doctor, and after 3 weeks wait I finally had the opportunity to talk about my symptoms. I was crying on the phone with my doctor, and she was very understanding, and she recognized the efforts i have been making to feel better. She asked if I was open to medication, and I said yes.
I didn’t want to need medication, but I think I finally understood that sometimes you just need a little bit of help. I was still afraid of what it meant to use meds, because I am well aware of the stigma that is attached to everything related to mental health. But, using meds to help your brain make connections shouldn’t be seen as something else as taking pills for pain or fever; if you’re feeling sick you take something to heal you. This time is my brain that needs to heal, and I care for it, so I am taking care of it. Our brain is still a part of our body, why are we afraid to take care of it?
We make mistakes, we trip and fall, we hurt ourselves unintentionally, and we fix it. Our brains are just another imperfect part of us, and it sometimes needs fixing. I hope the treatment helps me, unfortunately the brain is so complex that there isn’t an only way to treat it, so I have to be open to the possibility that this might not work at the first try.
I am glad to be posting something more hopeful, perhaps something is already working.