Post-Pandemic Depression (could it be?)

I am not sure if I can say we are over the COVID-19 pandemic, but since cases are lower and many people have already been vaccinated it is probably that we are safer. However, now it looks like there’s a new pandemic, a mental health one. I see everywhere people depressed, in person, among my acquaintances, online, and also me. I wonder if this is a secondary effect of the pandemic. The pandemic was and is still a global disease, and it wouldn’t surprise me that as being very close to death, we are all impacted and traumatized by it. We’ve lived under high amounts of stress in a short time, because not only we had the stress of the pandemic, we also had our usual stressors. Therefore, I am starting to think that we are under a wave of depression because we have lived under stress for so long.

I wonder and wonder a lot where my symptoms come from. I used to be very happy and cheerful, but I don’t feel the same energy now. Also, a lot of changes have happened in the country that make me feel less safe. I think I felt a little bit better when I was back home with my family because I felt surrounded and protected. Whenever I’m with my family I feel like a child, but when I’m home I feel an adult, and everything that it implies… Work, responsibilities, work. I am glad I have work, I can’t stop being grateful for that, but why does it have to be this hard and contradictory. I feel depressed but at least I can buy stuff? Life shouldn’t be like this.

However, I am trying my best to keep my positivity and I think that this is only a stage. I’m going through a rough patch and I should “go back to normal” soon,— if normal is still a word— if normal is still possible. If not, I hope I can get even better than before and enjoy life, and health, and my projects, and the present moment. Some days I feel very optimistic and hopeful but others I don’t. It’s hard to keep up reminding myself that I’m fine, and I’ll be fine because it is easy to go in a bad thinking direction. Did you notice that while I’m trying to say something hopeful I end up saying something pessimistic? That’s me right now, fighting opposite directions. But I know that I know that the good always outweighs the bad.

Finally, I want to finish this post by adding a quote from a book I recently read, and that it resonates with me…

You didn’t lose it

happiness has always been here

you just lost perspective

(rupi kaur)

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