Expectations

Sometimes I get bored, and tired and sad. I don’t know why do I feel this way, I think I should be happy, I have a lot of reasons to be, and when I’m not I feel guilty. Am I too hard on myself? Maybe I should allow myself to feel sad too, even if I don’t like it.

When I feel sad I try to explain myself why, and then I think that may be because I’m not working where I want because I still don’t have the career I want and neither live in the place I want, but then I blame myself for being ungrateful. What if after achieving those goals I’m still unhappy? What’s next? I think my problem is right now. If I can feel happy in the present I will be able to feel happy in the future, no matter what I do. And I’d like to convince myself of that but I can’t.

I do exercise because I know it helps, it’s healthy, I eat healthy I try to meditate… What’s wrong with me? Can someone tell me?