“My mind is playing tricks on me”

No, this is not a song, this is the title for my current issues.

I have always considered myself a healthy person, I eat well, I sleep well, I do exercise. But when it comes to my mind, there is the problem.

I don’t know if it’s something chemical, physical, or it is just a decision, but sometimes I don’t seem to be in good shape.

I worry a lot about the future, about the present and sometimes about the past. I’ve had to do research about anxiety so I can analyze myself and give me answers (I haven’t been able to visit a mental health professional). This has helped me a lot to get over stressful situations, anxiety nights, and to be more aware about what’s going on with me.

I feel sad sometimes for feeling this way without a reason, I feel like my mind is just making excuses to be worried about anything, and I fight with myself to overcome this.

I am a very happy person, I love my life, I enjoy every day, I just wouldn’t like to have these opposite days, when everything feels wrong, everything hurts and nothing excites me.

Is this the life of a normal person? Being constantly afraid of dying? Being afraid of losing my mind someday? I like my craziness when I see it as a joke, or as part of my personality but I am scared of become an insane person.

I hope all this feelings make more sense when I finally get the opportunity to see a Doctor and I can understand me better.

Pd. Excuse me if I make a lot of grammar mistakes, I think this is my first writing in English, so feel free to leave your comments about anything.